Married seeking married for mutual pleasure



Hera sent Iris to earth to seek out three virtuous and perfectly chaste maidens who were unsoiled by any dreams of love. Iris found them, but could not take them back to Olympus, for they had already been sent for to replace the superannuated Furies in the infernal regions. Nevertheless it is true that the whole education of girls, which so largely consists in the concealment of the essential facts of life from them; and the positive teaching so prevalent that the racial instincts are low and shameful; and also the social condition which places so many women in the position of depending on their husband's will not only for the luxuries but for the necessities of life, have all tended to inhibit natural sex-impulses in women, and to conceal and distort what remains.

It is also true that in our northern climate women are on the whole naturally less persistently stirred than southerners; and it is further true that with the delaying of maturity, due to our ever-lengthening youth, it often happens that a woman is approaching or even past thirty before she is awake to the existence in her of the sex-urge. For many years before that, however, the unrealized influence, diffused throughout her very system, has profoundly affected her.

It is also true that partly due to the inhibiting influences of our customs, traditions and social code women may marry before it wakes, and may remain long after marriage entirely unconscious that it exists subdued within them. For innumerable women, too, the husband's regular habits erotic escorts new york city intercourse, claiming her both when she would naturally enjoy union and when it is to some degree repugnant to her, have tended to flatten out the billowing curves of the line of her natural desire.

One result, apparently little suspected, of using the woman as a passive instrument for man's need has been, in effect, to make her that and nothing more. Those men — and there are many — who complain of the lack of ardor in good wives, are often themselves entirely to blame for it. When a woman is claimed at times when she takes no natural pleasure in union, it reduces her vitality, and tends to kill her power of enjoying it when the love season returns.

It is certainly true of women as they have been made jap escort jacksonville the inhibitions of modern civilization, that most of them are only fully awake to the existence of sex after marriage. As we are civilized human beings, the social, intellectual, spiritual side of the love-choice have tended to mask the basic physiological aspect of women's sex-life.

To find a woman in whom the currents are not all so entangled that the whole is cheap outcall escorts in orange into factors, is not easy, but I have found that wives particularly happy wives whose feelings are not complicated by the stimulus of another love who have been separated from their husbands for some months through professional or business duties — whose husbands, for instance, are abroad — are the women from whom the best and most definitive evidence of a fundamental rhythm of feeling can be obtained.

Such women, yearning daily for the tender comradeship and nearness of their husbands, find in addition, at particular times, an accession of longing for the close physical union of the final sex-act. Many such separated wives feel this; and those I have asked to keep notes of the dates, have, with remarkable unanimity, told me that these times came specially just before and a week or so after the close of menstruation, coming, that is, about every fortnight.

It is from such women that I got the first clew to the knowledge of what I call the law of Periodicity of Recurrence of desire in women. This law it is possible to represent graphically as a curved line; a succession of crests and hollows as in all wave-lines. Its simplest and most fundamental expression, however, is generally immensely complicated by other stimulations which may free escort website into it diverse series of waves, or irregular wave-crests.

We have all, at some time, watched the regular ripples of the sea breaking against a sand-bank, and noticed that the influx of another current of water may send a second system of waves at right angles to the first, cutting athwart them, so that the two series of waves pass through each other. Woman is so sensitive and responsive an instrument, and so liable in our modern civilized world to be influenced by innumerable sets of stimuli, that it is perhaps scarcely surprising that the deep, underlying waves of her primitive sex-tides have been obscured and entangled so that their regular sequence has been masked in the choppy turmoil of her sea, and their existence has been largely unsuspected, and apparently quite unstudied.

For some years I have been making as scientific and detailed as study as possible of this extremely complex problem. Owing to the frank and scientific attitude of a of women, and the ready and intimate confidence of many more, I have obtained a of most interesting facts from which I think it is already possible to deduce a generalization which is illuminating, and may be of great medical and sociological value. The obvious moon-month rhythm in woman, so obvious that it cannot be overlooked, has been partially studied in its relation to some of the ordinary functions of her life.

Experiments have been made to show its influence on the rate of breathing, the muscular strength, the temperature, the keenness of sight, etc. But it brings home to one bbbj escort newport beach little original work even in this field has yet been done, that the same identical diagram is repeated from book to book, and seeking a switzerland cop Marshall's "Physiology" it is "taken from Sellheim," in Havelock Ellis "from Von Ott," and in other books is re-copied and attributed to still other sources.

This diagram appears to be the only one of its kind, and is reproduced by one learned authority after another, yet nearly every point on which this curve is based appears to have been disputed. According to this curve, woman's vitality rises during the few days before menstruation, sinks to its lowest ebb during menstruation and rises shortly after, and then runs nearly level till it begins to rise again before the next menstrual period.

This simple curve may or may not be true for woman's temperature, muscular strength, and the other relatively simple things which have been investigated. My work and observations on a large of women all go to show that this curve does not represent the waves of woman's sex-tides.

A new survey reveals how typical your romance is or isn't

The whole subject is so complex and so little studied that it is difficult to enter upon it at all without going into many details which may seem remote or dull to the general reader. Even a question which we must all have asked, and over which we have probably pondered in escort mature arcadia, namely: What is menstruation?

To the lay mind it would seem that this question should be answerable at once by any doctor; but many medical men are still far from being able to reply to it even approximately correctly. There are a good many slight variations among us, ranging from a three to a five week "month," but the majority of the women of our race have a moon-month of twenty-eight days, once during which comes the flow of menstruation.

If we draw out a chart with succeeding periods of 28 days each, looking on each period as a unit: When in this period is it that a normal healthy woman feels desire or any up-welling of her sex-tides? The few statements which are made in general medical and physiological literature on the subject of sex feeling in women are generally very guarded and vague. Marshall "Physiology of Reproduction," p. After the most careful inquiries I have come to the conclusion that the general confusion regarding waterbury prostitution zone 4 subject is due partly to the great amount of variation which sexting wicked problem between different individuals, and partly to the fact that very few women have any idea of taking any scientific interest in life, and partly to the fact that the more profound, fundamental rhythm of sex desire which I have come to the conclusion exists or is potential in every normal woman, is covered over or masked by the more superficial and temporary influences due to a great variety of stimuli or inhibitions in modern life.

For the present consideration I have tried to disentangle the profound and natural rhythm from the more irregular surface waves. Chart No. I may assist in making graphically clear what has been said in these last few s. It is compounded from a of individual records, and shows a fair average chart of the rhythmic sequence of superabundance and flagging in woman's sex-vitality.

The tops of the wave-crests come with remarkable regularity so that there are two wave-crests in each twenty-eight day month. The one comes on the two or three days just before menstruation: the other after; but after menstruation has ceased there is a nearly level interval, bringing the next wave-crest to the two or three days which come about eight or nine days after the close of menstruation, that is, just round the fourteen days, or half the moon month, since the last wave-crest.

If this is put in its simplest way, one may say that there are fortnightly periods of desire, arranged so that one period comes always just before each menstrual flow. Upon her vitality at the time, and the general health of the woman, the length of each desire-period, or, as we might say, the size and complexity of each wave-crest, depends. Sometimes for the whole of as many as, or even more than, three days she may be ardently and quite naturally stimulated, while at another time the same woman, if she is tired or overworked, may be marrjed of desire for only a few hours, or even less.

Curve showing the Periodicity of Recurrence of natural desire in seekingg women. Various causes make slight irregularities in the position, size, and duration of the "wave-crests," but the general rhythmic sequence is apparent. Curve showing the depressing effects on the "wave-crests" russian escorts in nyc fatigue and overwork.

Crest a represented only by a feeble and transient up-welling. Shortly before and during the time of the crest d Alpine air restored the vitality of the subject. The increased vitality is seeking escapist billings montana by the height and of the apices of this wave-crest. The effects of fatigue, city-life, bad feeding and indeed of most outward circumstances may be very marked, and may for years, or all her life, so reduce her vitality that a woman may never have experienced any spontaneous sex-impulse at all.

The effects of fatigue, which reduces the vital energy, even karried a normal, strongly sexed woman, can be seen on chart II, where at a the intermediate wave-crest is very much reduced. This is not a generalized chart, but a detailed record of an actual individual case. Curves similar to those shown on charts I and II represent in general terms a simplified view of what my research le me to believe to be the normal, spontaneous sex-tide in women of our race. As one young married woman confided to me, her longing for bodily union with her husband, as distinct from lleasure longing for his daily companionship, seemed to well up naturally "like clock-work," and this when he had been long away from her.

But human beings vary remarkably in every particular, and just as no two people have the same features, so no two people would have absolutely identical curves were they recorded in sufficient detail. Many a woman is particularly conscious of only one period in each moon-month. Of such women, some feel the period which comes before menstruation, and some feel the one which follows it. In those who generally feel only one, the second period is sometimes felt when they are particularly well, or only when they read exciting novels, or meet the man they love at a time coinciding with the natural but suppressed time of desire.

There are a few women, who seem to be really a little abnormal, who feel the strongest desire actually during the menstrual flow. The of such women is lesbian chat video than is generally assumed. If any one who mutkal this thinks to test my view by questioning a of women, the result will probably appear very conflicting, partly because it is not often that women will tell the truth about such a thing, and partly because in the larger of women either one or the other period is the more acute and is the one they observe in themselves — if they have observed anything.

But a delicate and more accurate investigation of such cases will often bring to light the existence of the second crest of sex desire. Once the fundamental idea is grasped, much that appeared obscure or of no ificance becomes plain and full of meaning. One lady doctor catalina cruz escort whom I discussed my view at once said that it illuminated many observations she had made on her patients, but had not brought together or explained.

There is but little evidence to be found in scientific works on sex, but an interesting instance is mentioned by Forel, "The Sexual Question," in another connection. He says: "A married woman confessed to me, when I reproached her for being unfaithful to her husband, that she seekihg coitus at least once a fortnight, and that when her husband was not there she took the first comer. In this connection it sseeking of interest to note the decrees of the Mosaic Law regarding marital intercourse.

Not only was all intercourse with a woman during her menstruation period very heavily punished see Leviticus Pleadure. The obtained by my independent investigation thus find some support in this ancient wisdom of the East. Modern writers are inclined to deride the Mosaic Law on the ground that it prohibits intercourse just at the time when they think sex-feeling should be strongest.

But it does not appear on what grounds they make the latter statement, nor do they give any scientific data in support of it. Thus Galabin in his "Manual of Midwifery" says: "In the Jewish law women are directed to abstain 1 from coitus during menstruation and for seven days after its cessation. Strict observers of the law are said to go beyond what is commanded in Leviticus, and even if the discharge lasts only for an hour or two, to observe five days during which the discharge might last, for the period itself, and add to just seeking edison honest seven clear days, making twelve in all.

It is much to be doubted whether. These comparatively simple curves represent what I would postulate as the normal spontaneous up-welling of natural desire in woman. These are the foundations on which the edifice of the physical expression of love may be built. It fot not be forgotten, however, that, particularly in modern luxurious life, there are innumerable excitements which may stimulate sexual feeling, just as there are many factors in our life which tend to inhibit or retard it.

Flr woman may be, like a man, so swayed by a great love that there is not a day in the whole month when her lover's touch, his voice, the memory of his smile, does not stir her into the thrilling longing for the uttermost union.

The affairs of men

Hence it is often difficult, particularly for a woman dwelling with the man she loves, to recognize this rhythm in herself, for she may be sreking stimulated by video chat with females love and by his being. I am convinced, however, that ordinarily, whether she recognizes it by outward s or not, it profoundly influences the average woman, and hence that it fundamentally affects the marriage relation seeiing every way.

The burning magnificence of an overpowering lifelong love is not given to many, and a husband who desires lasting and mutual happiness in his marriage, will carefully study his wife, observe how far she has a normal rhythm, and in what respects she possesses peculiar personal traits. He will then endeavor to adapt his demands on her so that they are in harmony with her nature.

This mutual adaptation is not an entirely simple matter, and will be considered in the next chapter. I N the average man of our race desire knows no seasons beyond the slight marred of the winter months and the heightening of spring. Some men have observed in themselves a faintly-marked monthly eseking, but in the majority of men desire, even if held in stern check, is merely slumbering. It is always present, ever ready to wake at the lightest call, and often so spontaneously insistent as to require perpetual conscious repression.

It would go ill with the men of our race had women retained the wild animals' infrequent seasonal rhythm, and with it her inviolable rights in her own body save at the mating season. Woman, too, has acquired a much more frequent rhythm; but, as it does not equal man's, he has tended to ignore and override it, coercing her at all times and seasons, either by ffor, or by the even more compelling power of "divine" authority and social tradition.

If man's desire is perpetual and woman's intermittent; if matried desire naturally wells up every day or every few days, and woman's seekign every fortnight or every month, it may appear at first sight impossible for the unwarped needs of both natures to be mutually satisfied. The sense that a satisfactory mutual adjustment is not within the realms of possibility has, indeed, obsessed our race for centuries.

Married seeking married for mutual pleasure

The result has been that the supposed need of one of the partners has tended to become paramount, and we have established the social traditions of a husband's "rights" and wifely financial domination chat. One must be sacrificed. And it muttual better for society that it should be the woman. Nevertheless, the seeing who consciously sacrifice the women are in a minority.

Most men act in ignorance. Our code, however, has blindly sacrificed not only the woman, but with her the happiness of the majority of men, who, in total ignorance of its meaning andhave grown up thinking that women should submit to regularly frequent, or even nightly, intercourse. For the sake of a few moments of physical pleasure they lose realms of ever-expanding joy and tenderness; and while men and women may not realize the existence of an untrodden paradise, they both suffer, if only half consciously, from being shut out from it.

Before making some suggestions which may help married people to find not only a via city girl escorts of mutual endurance, but a via perfecta of mutual joy, sewking is necessary to consider a few points about the actual nature of man's "desire. The general physiology of our body is given to us in youth and in a clean scientific way. But the physiology of our most profoundly disturbing functions is ignored — in my opinion, criminally ignored.

The sex-organs of a man consist not only of the testicles which give rise to the living, moving, ciliated cells, the spermatozoaand of the channel or tube in the center of the penis through which they pass and by means of which they are directed into the proper place for their deposition, the woman's vagina. Associated with these primary and essential structures there are other tissues and glands which play subsidiary but yet very important parts.

Man's penis, when quiet and unstimulated, is soft, small and drooping. But when stimulated, either by physical touch which acts through the mutyal and muscles directly, or by the sight or nearness, or though of some one lovely and beloved, which acts indirectly through messages from the brain, it increases greatly in size, and becomes stiff, turgid and erect. Many men imagine that the turgid condition of an erection is due to the local accumulation of semen, and that these can only be naturally got rid tranny escort fuck her guy by an ejaculation.

This is entirely wrong. The enlargement of the penis is not at all due to the presence of actual semen, but is due to the effects of the nervous reaction on the blood vessels, leading to the filling, principally, of the veins, and of the arteries. As the blood enters but does not leave the penis, the venous cavities in it fill up with venous blood until the whole is rigid.

When rigid this organ is able to penetrate the female entrance, and there the further stimulation calls out the semen from their marride, the seminal vesicles, the testes plasure the prostate, and they pass down the channel within the penis the urethra and are expelled. If this is clear, it will be realized that the stiffening and erection does not necessarily call for relief in petite escorts west des moines ejaculation of semen.

If the veins can empty themselves, as they naturally do when the nervous excitement which constricted them locally passes, the erection will subside without any loss of semen, by seekimg mere passing back of the locally excessive pleaaure into the ordinary circulatory system. This can happen quite naturally and healthily seeoing the nerves are soothed, either physically or as maarried result of a sense of mental peace sex text operator exaltation.

When pleasjre the other hand the local excitement culminates in the ashford woman looking for man up and expulsion of the semen, after it has once started the ejaculation becomes quite involuntary and the spermatozoa and the secretions associated with sex personals in prescott valley arizona pass out of the system and are entirely lost.

Of what does this loss consist? It is estimated that there are about two hundred and fifty million spermatozoa in a single average ejaculation. Thus by a single ejaculation one man might fertilize nearly all the marriageable women in the world. It is therefore the greatest mistake to imagine that the semen is something to be got rid of frequently — all the vital energy and the precious chemical substances which go to marrieed composition can be better utilized by being transformed into other creative work on most days of the month.

And so mystic and wonderful are the chemical transformations going on in our bodies that the brain can often set this alchemy in motion, particularly if the brain is helped by knowledge. A strong will can often calm the nerves which regulate the fro supply, and order the distended veins of the penis to retract and subside without wasting the semen in an ejaculation. But while it is good that a man should be able mutuap do this often, it is not good to try to do it always.

The very restraint which adds to a man's strength up to a certain point, taxes his strength when carried chantelle washington escort it. It is my ppeasure that just sufficient restraint to carry him through the ebb-tides of his wife's sex-rhythm is usually the right amount to give the best strength, vigor, and joy to a man, if both are normal people.

If the wife has, as I think the majority of healthy well-fed young women will be found to have, a fortnightly consciousness or potentiality of desire, then the two should find a perfect mutual adjustment in having fortnightly unions; for this need not be confined to only a single union on each occasion. Many men who can well practice restraint for twelve or fourteen days, will find that one union only will not then thoroughly satisfy them; and if they have the good fortune to have healthy wives, they will find that the latter, too, have the desire for several unions in the course of a day or two.

If the wave-crests on our charts are studied it will be seen that they spread over two or three days and show several small minor crests. This is what happens when a woman is thoroughly well and vital; her desire bubbles up during a day or two, sometimes even every few hours if it does midget escort southend on sea, and sometimes even if it does, receive satisfaction.

Expressed in general terms which, of course, will not fit everybody my view may be formulated thus: The mutually best regulation of intercourse in marriage is to have three or four days of repeated unions, followed by about ten days without any unions at all, unless some strong external stimulus has stirred a mutual desire. I have been interested to discover that the people known to me who have accidentally fixed upon this arrangement of their lives are happy: and it should be noted that it fits in with the charts I give which represent the normal, spontaneous feeling of so many women.

There are many women, however, who do not feel, or who may not at first recognize, a second, but have only one time of natural pleasure in sex in each moon-month. Many men of strong will and temperate lives will be able so to control themselves that they can adjust themselves to this more restrained sex-life, as do some with whom I am acquainted. On the other hand, there will be many who find this period too long to live through without using a larger amount of energy in restraining their impulse than is justifiable.

It seems to me never justifiable to spend so much energy and will power on restraining natural impulses, that valuable work and intellectual power and poise are made to suffer. If, then, a strongly sexed husband, who finds it a real loss to his powers of work to endure through twenty-six days of abstinence, should find himself married to a wife whose vitality is so low that she can only take pleasure mitual physical union once in her moon-month in some it will be before, in some a little time after, her menstrual flowhe should note carefully the time she is spontaneously happy in their union, and then at any cost restrain himself through plexsure days immediately following, and about a fortnight after her time of desire he should set himself ardently to woo her.

Unless she is actually out of health he is more likely then than at any other time to succeed not only in winning her compliance, but also in giving her enjoyment and attaining mutual ecstasy. The husband who so restrains himself, even if it is hard to do it, will generally find that he is a thousandfold repaid — not only by the increasing health and happiness of his wife, and the much intenser pleasure he gains from their mutual intercourse, but also by his own added vitality and sense of self-command.

A marrie is not too long for a healthy man to restrain himself with advantage. It becomes a habit. The less control is exercised, the greater tendency there is for a desire to become pleasurw craving of an uncontrollable kind, which is itself of the nature of disease, and means death sooner or later. While a knowledge of the fundamental laws of our being should in the main regulate our lives, so complex are we, so sensitive to a myriad impressions, that clock-work regularity can never rule us.

Even where the woman is strongly sexed, with a well-marked recurrence of desire, which is generally satisfied by fortnightly unions, it may not infrequently happen that, in between these periods, there may be additional special occasions when there springs up a mutual longing to unite. These will generally depend on some event in the lovers' lives which stirs their emotions; some memory of past passion, such as an anniversary of their wedding, or perhaps will be due to a novel, poem, or picture which moves them deeply.

If the man she loves plays the part of tender wooer, even at times when her passion would not spontaneously arise, a woman can generally be stirred so fundamentally as to give a passionate return. But at the times of her ebb-tides the stimulus will have to be stronger than at the high tides, and it will then generally be found that the appeal must be made even more through her emotional and spiritual nature and less through the physical than usual. The supreme law for husbands is: Remember that each act of union must be tenderly wooed for and wonand that no union should ever take place unless the woman also desires it and is made escort girl lyon ready for it.

While in most marriages the husband has to restrain himself to meet the wife's less frequently recurrent rhythm, there are, toilet chat room the other hand, marriages in which the husband is so under-sexed that he cannot have ordinary union save at very infrequent intervals without a serious effect on his health.

If such a man is married to a woman who has inherited an unusually strong and over-frequent desire, he may suffer by union with her, or may cause her suffering by refusing to unite. In such cases we are helpless. We have to deal with one of the many marital tragedies. Unfortunately, the variations in the sex-need of different healthy people is immense, far greater than can be suggested in this book.

Ellis states that the Queen of Aragon ordained that six times a day was the proper rule in legitimate marriage. So abnormally sexed a woman would to-day probably succeed in killing by exhaustion a succession of husbands, for the man who could match such a desire is very rare now-a-days. Though the timing and the frequency of union are the points about which questions are oftenest asked by the ignorant flr well-meaning, and are most misunderstood, yet there are other fundamental facts concerning coitus about which even medical men seem surprisingly ignorant.

Regarding these, a simple statement of the physiological facts is essential.

An impersonal and scientific knowledge of the structure of our bodies is the surest safeguard against prurient curiosity and lascivious gloating. This knowledge at the back of the minds of the lovers, though not perhaps remembered as such, may also spare the unintentioned cruelty of handling which so readily injures one whose lover is ignorant. What actually happens in an act of union should be known. After the preliminaries of love-play, the stimulated penis, erect, enlarged and stiffened, is pressed into the woman's vagina.

Ordinarily when a woman is not stimulated, the walls of this canal, as well as the exterior lips of soft tissue surrounding its exit, are dry and rather crinkled, and the vaginal opening is smaller than the man's extended organ. But when the woman is what is physiologically called tumescent that is, when she is ready for union and has been profoundly stirredthese parts are all flushed by the internal blood supply and to some extent are turgid like those of seekint man, while there is a plentiful secretion of mucus, which lubricates the channel of the vagina.

In a really ardent woman the vagina may even spontaneously open and close as though panting with longing. So powerful is the influence of thought on our bodily structure, that in some people all these physical seekjng be brought pleaasure by the thought of knoxville sweet escort loved one, by the enjoyment of marridd words and kisses, and the beautiful subtleties of wooing.


It can therefore be rich people chat rooms imagined that when the man tries to enter a woman whom he has not wooed to the point marriied stimulating her natural physical reactions of preparation, he is endeavoring to force his entry through a dry-walled opening too maried for it.

He may thus cause the woman actual pain, apart from the mental revolt and loathing she is likely to feel for a man who so regardlessly uses her. On the other hand, in the tumescent woman the opening, already naturally expanded, is lubricated by a flow of mucus, and all the nerves and muscles are ready to react and easily draw in the man's entering organ. This is of the meeting of two who have been already married.

The first union of a virgin girl differs, of course, from all others, for on that occasion the hymen is broken. One would think that every girl who was about to be married would be told of this necessary rupturing of the membrane and the temporary pain it will cause her; but even still large s of girls are allowed to marry in complete and cruel ignorance. It should be realized that a man does not woo and win a woman once for all when he marries her: he must woo her before every separate act of coitus ; for each act corresponds to a marriage, as the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air know it.

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Wild animals are not so foolish as man; a wild animal does not unite with his female without the wooing characteristic of his race, whether by stirring her by a display of his strength in fighting another male, or by exhibiting his beautiful feathers or song. And we must not forget that the wild animals are assisted by nature; they generally only woo just at the season when the female is beginning to feel natural desire.

But man, who wants his mate all out of season as well ;leasure in it, has a double duty to perform, and must himself rouse, charm, and stimulate her to the scunthorpe county escort girls readiness which would have been to some extent naturally prepared for him had he waited till her own desire welled up.

To render a woman ready before uniting with her is marrjed only the merest act of humanity to save her pain, but is of value from the man's point of view, for unless he is one of those relatively few abnormal and diseased msrried who delight only in rape the man gains an immense increase of sensation from the mutuality seeoing attained. When the two have met and united, the usual result is that, after a longer or shorter interval, the man's mental and physical stimulation reaches a climax in sensory intoxication and in the mxrried of semen.

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Where the two are perfectly adjusted, the woman simultaneously reaches the crisis of nervous reactions and muscular convulsions similar to his. This mutual orgasm is extremely important, but adult personals online crompond ny milf distressingly many cases the man's climax comes so swiftly that the woman's reactions are not nearly ready, and she is left without it.

Though in some instances the woman may have one or more crises before the man achieves his, it is perhaps hardly an exaggeration to say that 70 or 80 per cent. So complex, so profound, are woman's sex-instincts that in rousing them the man is rousing her whole body and soul. And this takes time. More time indeed than the average husband dreams of spending upon it. Yet woman has at the surface a small vestigial organ called the clitoris, which corresponds morphologically to the man's penis, and which, like it, is extremely sensitive to touch-sensations.

This little crest, which lies anteriorly between the inner lips round the vagina, erects itself when the woman is really tumescent, and by the stimulation of movement it is intensely roused and transmits this stimulus to every nerve in her body. But even after a woman's dormant sex-feeling is aroused and all the complex reactions of her being have been set in motion, it may take from ten to twenty minutes of actual physical union to consummate her feeling, while one, two or three minutes of actual union often satisfies a man who is ignorant of the art of controlling his reactions so that he may experience the added enjoyment of a mutual simultaneous orgasm.

A of well-meaning people demand from men absolute "continence" save for procreation only. They overlook the innumerable physiological reactions concerned in the act, as well as the subtle spiritual alchemy of it, and propound the view that "the opposition to continence, save for procreation only, has but one argument to put forward, and that is appetite, selfishness. It should be realized, however, that the complete act of union is a triple consummation.

It symbolizes, and at the same time actually enhances, the spiritual union; there are a myriad subtleties of soul-structure which are compounded in this alchemy. At the same time liz miyaki escort act gives the most intense physical pleasure which the body can experience, and it is a mutualnot a selfish, pleasure, more calculated than anything else to draw out an unspeakable tenderness and understanding in both partakers of this sacrament; while, thirdly, it is the act which gives rise to a new life by rendering possible the fusion of one of the innumerable male spermatozoa menifee nude models the female egg-cell.

It often happens, now-a-days, that dreading the expense and the physical strain of child-bearing for his wife, the husband practices what is called coitus interruptus : that is, he withdraws just before the ejaculation, but when he is already so stimulated that the ejaculation has become involuntary. In this way the semen is spent, but, as it does not enter the wife's body, fertilization and consequently procreation cannot take place.

This practice, while it may have saved the woman the anguish of bearing unwanted children, is yet very harmful to her, and is to be deprecated.

Ten ways to marry the wrong person

It tends to leave the woman in "mid-air" as it were; to leave her stimulated and unsatisfied, and therefore it has a very bad effect on her nerves and marride health, particularly if it is done frequently. The woman, too, loses the advantage and I am convinced that it is difficult to overstate the physiological advantage of the partial absorption of the man's secretions, which must take place through the large tract of internal epithelium with which they come in contact.

If, as physiology has already proved to be the case, the internal absorption of secretions from the sex organs plays so large a part in determining the health and character of remote parts of the body, it is extremely likely that the highly stimulating secretion of man's semen can and does penetrate and affect the woman's whole organism. Actual experiment has shown that iodine placed in the vagina in solution is so quickly absorbed by the epithelial walls that in an hour it has amrried the system and is even being excreted.

It still remains, however, for scientific experiments to be devised which will enable us to study the effects of the absorption of substances from the semen. On the other crewe prostitutes crewe city, coitus interruptus is not always harmful for the man, for he has the complete sex-act, though a good many gor think maried effects on them are undesirable, and it may lead to lack of desire or even impotence.

Fpr is certainly bad when its safety from consequences induces him to frequent indulgence, for thus wastefully to scatter what should be creative power is to reduce his own vitality and power of work. By those who have a high appreciation of the value of their creative impulse, and who wish to enjoy the mutual pleasure and enhancement of sex-union without wasting it, this method should not be practiced.

It is hard to lpeasure who, the man or the woman, is more seriously, more extensively injured by the practice; but my own impression is that it is the man. While, as a result of the practice, both may become afflicted with a lack of libido, or even a distaste and loathing of sex ppeasure, tachycardia, single women seeking nsa kenosha wisconsin, etc. Atony and congestion of the prostate are also conditions mutuwl which the man alone suffers.

As to absorption of the semen by the female genitals, no scientific proof exists that even absorption takes place.

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Of the absorption by the vaginal epithelium there can be no question; there is some likelihood of absorption by the epithelium of the lining membrane of the uterus. But even here scientific proof is still lacking. The absorption of one's own internal secretions is not an analogous case: Here the secretion is poured directly into one's own blood or lymph stream. But it is a fact that many women suffer intensely when in their sex relations they are deprived of the semen, either through the practice of coitus interruptus or through the use of a condom.

It marired never be forgotten that without the discipline of control there is no lasting delight in erotic feeling. The fullest delight, even in a purely physical sense, can only be attained by those who curb and direct their natural impulses. Saleeby's seekibg are appropriate in this connection Introduction to Forel's "Sexual Ethics" : "Professor Forel speaks of subduing the sexual instinct.

I would rather speak of transmuting it. The direct method of attack is often futile, always necessitous of effort, but it is possible for us to transmute our sex-energy into higher forms in our individual lives, thus justifying the evolutionary and physiological contention that is the source of the higher activities of man, of moral indignation, and of the 'restless energy' which has changed the surface of the earth. Forel text baby "The Sexual Question" : "Before engaging in a life-long union, a man and woman ought to explain to each other their sexual feelings so as to avoid deception and incompatibility later on.

Actually it often takes several years for eager and intelligent couples fully to probe themselves and to discover the extent and meaning of the immensely profound physiological and spiritual of marriage. Yet it is true that a noble frankness would save much misery when, as happens not infrequently, one or other of the pair marries with the secret determination not to have any children.

So various are we all as individuals, so complex all the reactions and later-reactions of sex relations, that no hard and fast rule can be laid down. Each couple, after marriage, must study themselves, and the lover and the beloved must do what best serves pleasre both and gives them the highest degree of mutual joy and power. There are, however, some laws which should be inviolable. Their details can be gathered from the preceding s, and they are summed up see,ing the words: "Love worketh no ill to the beloved.

Sleeplessness is a punishment for so many different violations of pleasyre laws, that it is perhaps one of the most prevalent of humanity's innumerable sufferings. While most of the aspects of sleep and sleeplessness have received much attention from specialists in human physiology, the relation escorts tuscaloosa alabama sleep and coitus appears to be but little realized.

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Yet there is an intimate, profound and quite direct relation between the power of sleep, naturally and refreshingly, and the harmonious relief of the whole system in the perfected sex-act. We see this very clearly in the case of the ordinary healthy man. If, for some reason, he has to live unsatisfied for some time after the acute stirring of his longing for physical contact with his bbw escort nz, he tends in the interval to be wakeful, seekihg, and his nerves martied on edge.

Free talk chat line, when the propitious hour arrives, and after the love-play, the growing passion expands, until the transports of rapture find their ending in the explosive completion of the act, at once the tension of his whole system relaxes, and his muscles fall into gentle, easy attitudes of languorous content, and in a few moments nutual man is sleeping like.

This excellent and refreshing sleep falls like a soft curtain of oblivion and saves the man's consciousness from the jar and disappointment of an anti-climax. But not only is this sleep a restorative after the strenuous efforts of the transport, it has peculiarly refreshing powers, and many men feel that after such a sleep their whole system seems rejuvenated. But how fare women in this event? When they too have had complete satisfaction they similarly relax and sink into a peaceful refreshing slumber.

But as things are to-day it is scarcely an exaggeration to say that the majority of pleausre are left wakeful and nerve-racked to watch with tender motherly brooding, or with bitter and jealous envy, the slumbers of the men who, through ignorance and carelessness, have neglected to see that they too received full satisfaction. Many married women have told me that after relations with their husbands they are sekeing, either for some hours or for the whole night; and I feel sure that the prevalent neglect on the part of men to see that their wives have orgasms at each congress, must be a very common source of the sleeplessness and nervous diseases of so many married women.

The relation between the completion of the sex-act and sleep in woman is well indicated in the case of Mrs. She married a man with whom she was passionately in love. Neither she nor her husband had ever had connection with any one else, and, while they were both keen and intelligent people with preston seeking black man knowledge of biology, neither knew anything of the details of human sex union.

For several years her husband had unions with her which gave him some satisfaction and left him ready at once to sleep. Neither he nor she knew that women should have an orgasm, and after every union she was left so "on edge," restless and wakeful, so that several hours would generally elapse before she could sleep at all, and often she maried wakeful the whole night. After her husband's death her health improved, and in a year or two she entered into a new relation with a man who was aware of woman's needs and gave sufficient time and attention to them to ensure a successful orgasm for her as well as for himself.

The result was that she soon became a good sleeper, with the attendant benefits of restored nerves and health. Sleep is so complex a process, and sleeplessness the resultant of so many different mal-adjustments, that it is, of course, possible that the woman may sleep well enough, even if she be deprived of the relief and pleasure of perfect union. But in so many married women sleeplessness and a marrled nervous condition are coupled with a lack of the complete sex relation, that one of the first questions a physician should put to those of his women patients who are worn and sleepless is whether her husband really fulfills his marital duty in their physical relation.

From their published statements, and their admissions to me, it appears that many practicing doctors are either almost unaware of the very existence of orgasm in women, or look upon it as a superfluous and accidental phenomenon.

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Yet to have had a moderate of orgasms at some time at least, is a necessity for the full development of a woman's health and all her powers. As this book is written for those who are married, I say nothing here about the lives of those who are still unmarried, though, particularly after the age of thirty has been reached, their case may be very sad and need much study and consideration.

It is, however, worth noticing how prevalent sleeplessness is among a class of women who have never practiced any self-indulgence marriee allowed any relief to their desires. There is little doubt that pleasyre complete lack of normal sex relations is one of the several factors which render many middle-aged unmarried women nervous and sleepless. Yet for the unmarried woman the lack is not so acute nor so localized as it is for the married escorts edinburgh scotland who is thwarted in the natural completion of her sex-functions after they have been directly stimulated.

The unmarried woman, unless she be in love with some particular man, has no definite stimulus to her sex desires beyond the natural upwelling of the sex urge. The married woman, however, is not only diffusely stirred by pleasurr presence of the man she loves, but is also acutely, locally and physically, stimulated by his relation with her. And if she is then left in mid air, without natural relief to her tension, she is in this respect far worse off than her unmarried sister. Nevertheless, many unmarried women suffer from sleeplessness as a result of their celibacy, quite unconscious of its cause.

We are, however, only concerned here with the married woman. When she is left sleepless through the neglect of the mate who slumbers soundly by her side, it is not surprising if she spends the long hours reviewing their mutual position; and the review cannot yield her much pleasure or satisfaction. For deprived of the physical delight of mutual orgasm though, perhaps, like so many wives, quite unconscious of all it sseking giveshe sees in the sex act an arrangement where pleasure, relief and subsequent sleep are all on her husband's side, while she is merely the passive instrument of his enjoyment.

Nay, more angelina escort that: if following every union she has married hours of wakefulness, she then sees clearly the encroachment on her own health sext bridgeport connecticut on kik an arrangement in which she is not merely passive, but is actively abused.

Another of the consequences of the incomplete relation is that often, stirred to a point of wakefulness and vivacity by the preliminary sex-stimulation of the full meaning of which she may be unconsciousa romantic and thoughtful woman is then most able to talk intimately and tenderly — to speak of the things most near and sacred to her heart. And she may then be terribly wounded by the inattention of her husband, which, coming so soon after his ardent demonstrations of affection, appears peculiarly callous.

It makes him mareied to her to be indifferent to the highest side of marriage — the spiritual and romantic intercourse. Thus she may see in the man going off to sleep in the midst of her love-talk, a gross and inattentive brute — and all because she has never shared the climax of his physical tension, and does not know that its natural reaction is sleep.

These thoughts are so depressing even to the tenderest and most loving woman, and so bitter to one who has other causes of complaint, that in their turn they act on the whole system and increase the damage done by the mere sleeplessness. The older school of physiologists dealt in methods too crude to realize the physiological of seekihg thoughts, but it is now well known that anger and bitterness have experimentally recognizable physiological plewsure, and are injurious to the whole system.

It requires little imagination to see that after months or years of such embittered sleeplessness, the woman tends not only to become neurasthenic but also resentful towards her zeeking. She is probably too ignorant and unobservant of her own physiology to realize the full meaning of what is taking place, but she feels vaguely that he is to blame, and that she is being sacrificed for what, in her still greater ignorance of his physiology, seems to her to be his mere pleasure and self-indulgence.

He, with his pleqsure maintained by the natural outlet followed by recuperative sleep, is not likely to be ready to look into the gloomy and shadowy land of vague reproach and pleasyre trivial wrongs which are all the prostitutes in langley west she gives to her unformulated physical grievance.

So he is likely to set down any resentment she may show fkr "nerves" or "captiousness", and to be first solicitous of and then impatient towards her apparently irrelevant complaints. If he is, as many men are, tender and considerate, he may try to remedy matters by restricting to the extreme limit of what is absolutely necessary for him, the of times they come together. Unconsciously he thus only makes matters worse; for as a general rule, he is quite unaware of his wife's rhythm, marrief does not arrange to coincide with it in his infrequent tender embraces.

As he is now probably sleeping in another room and not daring to come for the nightly talks and tenderness which are so sweet a karried of marriage, here, as in other ways, his well-meaning but wrongly conceived efforts at restraint only tend to drive the pair still further apart. To make plain the reasonableness of my view regarding sleep, it is necessary to mention some of the immensely profound influences which it is now known that sex exerts, even when not stimulated to its specific use.

In those who are deprived of their sex-organs, particularly when young, many of the other features and organs of kalgoorlie escort body develop abnormally or fail to appear. Castrated boys Eunuchs when grown up, tend to have little or no beard, or mustache, to have high-pitched voices and pleasuee other characters which separate them from normal men.

The growth of organs and structures so marred from the sex-organs, good time in duncanville sex chat, e. These secretions are not passed out through external ducts but enter the blood-system directly. Such secretions passing straight from the ductless glands into the vascular system are of very great importance in almost all our bodily functions.

They have been deeply studied of late, and the general name of Hormones given to them by Starling. Thus we know that the stimulus of food in the stomach sends a chemical substance from one ductless gland in the digestive system chasing through the blood to another gland which prepares a different digestive secretion further on. We know that the thyroid gland in the neck swells and contracts in very sensitive relation with the sex organs; we know that some chemical secretion from the developing embryo, or the tissue in which it grows, sends its chemical stimulus to the distant mutial glands of seekking mother; we know that if the ovaries of a girl or the testes of a boy are completely cut out, the far-reaching influences their hormones would have exerted are made evident by the numerous changes in the system and departures from the normal, which result from their lack.

But we do not know, for physiologists have not yet studied the degree and character of the immense stimulus of sex-life and experience on the glands of the sex-organs, or how they affect the whole of the human being's life and powers. The "Mendelians" and the "Mutationists," who both tend to lay so much and I think such undue stress on morphological domestic abuse chat rooms factors, seem at present to have the ear of the public more than the physiologists.

But it is marrier important that every grown up man and woman should know that through the various chemical substances or "messengers" which Starling calls the hormones there is an extremely rapid, almost immediate, effect on the activities of organs in remote parts of the body, due to the influences exerted on one or other internal organ. It is therefore clear that any influences exerted on such profoundly important organs as those connected with sex, must have far-reaching in many unexpected fields.

It is true that in coitus woman has but a marrief external secretion, and that principally of mucus. But we have no external s of all the complex processes and reactions going on in digestion and during the production of digestive secretions. When, as is the case in orgasm, we have such intense and apparent nervous, vascular and muscular reactions, it seems inevitable that there must be correspondingly profound internal correlations.

Is it conceivable texts to make a girl wet organs so fundamental, whose mere existence we know affects the personal characters of women, could escape physiological result, from the intense preliminary stimulus and acute sensations of an orgasm?

To ask this question is surely to answer it. It is to my mind inconceivable that the orgasm in woman as in man should not have profound physiological effects. Did we know enough about the subject, many of seekinv "nervous breakdowns" and neurotic tendencies of the modern woman could be directly traced to the partial stimulation of sexual intercourse without its normal completion which is so prevalent in modern marriage. This subject, and its numerous ramifications, are deeking worth the careful research of the most highly trained physiologists.

There is nothing more profound, or of more vital moment to modern humanity as a whole, than is the understanding of the sex nature jutual sex needs of men and women. I may point out as a mere suggestion that the man's sex organs give ppleasure to external and also to internal secretions. The coventry bedworth ky women looking for cunnilingus love of man and woman mutuql stands pleasuure the twofold obligation of fidelity and fecundity.

They are no longer two ; from now on they form one flesh. God is faithful. Through conjugal chastitythey newbie seeking girlfriends witness to this mystery before the world. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives : I have taken you in my armsand I love muyual, and I prefer marriec to my life itself.

For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us I place your love above all thingsand nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind pleasuure you. The fecundity of marriage. does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spousesbut springs from ,utual very heart of that mutual givingas its fruit and fulfillment.

So the Churchwhich "is on the side of life " teaches that "each and every marriage act must remain open 'per se ' to the transmission of life. They will fulfill this duty with a sense of human and Christian responsibility. For just reasonsspouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood.

Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality :. When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of lifethe morality of the behavior does not depend on sincere intention and evaluation of motives alone; but it must be determined by objective criteriacriteria drawn from the maried of the person and his acts criteria that respect the total meaning of pleasyre self-giving and human procreation in the mardied of true love ; this is possible only if marrried virtue of married chastity is practiced with sincerity of heart.

In contrast"every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal actor in its accomplishmentor in the development of its natural consequencesproposes seeking, whether as an end or as a meansto render procreation beckley wv milf personals " is intrinsically evil sesking Thus the innate cor that expresses transexual escorts south weymouth total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaidthrough contraceptionby an objectively contradictory languagenamely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other.

This le not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal lovepeasure is called upon to give itself in personal totality In this capacity it is legitimate for it to intervene to orient the demography of the population. This can be done by means of objective and see,ing informationbut certainly not by authoritariancoercive measures.

These techniques heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization infringe the child 's right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses ' " right to become a father and a mother only through each other.

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